Mama Tried

Random Wednesday #2

Ever heard the song "Mama Tried" by Merle Haggard? No? Okay so I'm the only one that listens to country music from the 60's.... cool. The lyrics to the song are technically about a man, but they can definitely be applied to certain aspects of my life too.

"I turned 21 in prison, doing life without parole.

No one could steer me right but Mama tried, Mama tried.

Mama tried to raise me better, but her pleading I denied.

That leaves only me to blame 'cause Mama tried."

 

Okay, so I didn't turn 21 in prison, and I  certainly have never been sentenced to life without parole... but you can get the idea. Let me change the lyrics a little so you can get where I'm going with this.

 

"I turned 21 in college, doing jager without chaser

No one could steer me right but Mama tried, Mama tried.

Mama tried to raise a lady, but her pleading I denied.

That leaves only me to blame 'cause Mama tried."

 

Bless my poor Mama's soul, because try she did. Succeed, she did not. There are plenty of things she tried to embed into my brain on how to be "lady like" but for some reason, most of it never stuck. For instance:

 

How to eat in public. Putting noms into my face hole is probably one of the things I enjoy doing most, second to napping and playing Call of Duty with the man-friend. Unfortunately, stuffing said deliciousness into my mouth isn't always attractive. Seriously, finally she just gave up, her last piece of advice being, "You better hope he doesn't take you out to eat on a first date." Anywayz, snaps to you if you can eat a hamburger and still look feminine.

 

How to control my bodily functions. Once, my mom walked in to my fifth grade classroom only to hear what she describes as "the loudest, manliest belch" she has ever heard. She looked around at all the boys in disgust only to find the teacher pointing at yours truly. Another time at the dinner table, my Dad reached to my Mom, index finger out, and said pull my finger. When she grabbed it (in attempt to break it) the loud rumble came from my bottom, not my Pop's. To this day my brother claims it as the best fart ever. On a side note, I have only ever heard my mother pass gas TWICE in 23 years. How she does it is beyond me. I do not attempt this magic.

 

How to lose graciously. For this one, I can't blame my mom because she is as competitive as they come. But do not challenge me and then beat me or I will hate you forever. Okay, not really but I will be feet stomping, baby whining, name calling upset. You'll probably be a cheater in my book since obviously I'm the better player.

 

There are some awesome things I did learn from my good ole' Mama, though:

 

I am beautiful. She never hesitates to tell me that I am the most beautiful. With or (especially) without make up. She tells me to never try to be anything I'm not and that I'm a beautiful person inside and out. Whether it's your Mama, Dad, or Aunt Kitty, everyone should have someone in their life that reinforces this every time they see them.

 

Not to be scared to run with the big dogs. I have always been athletic. I love any sport you throw at me (not saying I'm a champ at all of them). And I'm definitely not afraid to jump in a game of pick up basketball with the guys, or throw the weights around in the gym instead of prancing on the treadmill.

 

I am worth it. I had a very bad relationship. A long one, too. And in the end, it was my Mother that gave me the most comfort, reminding me that I am worth being loved for who I am, not what I can give. That one day someone would jump into my life and appreciate me, not make me feel like a sack of poo (of course she was right).

 

 

What has your Mama taught (or tried to teach) you?