A little more about being a nurse

Howdy! So by now you all know that I'm a nurse, right? No? Okay well now you do. I'm a nurse. I work a "12 hour" shift 4 days a week. I say "12 hour" with quotations because really its more like 13. Sometimes 16 if I'm really lucky. But hey, I love it. Here's a little look into the life of a nurse:

You know you're a nurse if...

...you rattle when you walk because your pockets are filled with pens, markers, pencils, scissors, bandaids, a glucometer, and a maybe a snack or two.

...you find yourself picking out the good veins of the people standing next you in the grocery line.

...you can smell c-diff or a lower GI bleed from a mile away.

...poop doesn't gross you out. Neither does vomit, blood, or any other body fluids.

...you consider it a complement when people say you're a "good stick."

...you know what a "good stick" is.

...you would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley with a gang of nurses and needles.

...you think sharpies are gold and black pens are silver.

...you make it to the end of your twelve hour shift and realize you only peed once.

...you get excited when drug reps come, because that means free food.

...you think anyone that says the "Q word" deserves side eyes for life.

...you have seen more penises than Lisa Lampanelli and as many vaginas as a gynecologist.

...you don't think twice about using words like "penis," "vagina," or "cerumen" in day-to-day conversation.

...you know that gauges go down and frenches go up.

...you know there is no such thing as always. Or never.

...if there's something that can go wrong, it will.

...you've ever heard the phrase "I really don't know how that got stuck there" or "I'm allergic to all medications except Demerol and Morphine."

...you are the only one at dinner who isn't allowed to discuss how your day went at work.

...you wash your hands an abnormal amount per day.

...you use nursing abbreviations in every day emails, letters, or text messages. And get annoyed when people don't know what you're talking about.

...your family members and friends call you to ask "where these bumps came from."

...you find countless alcohol swabs in your washing machine.

...you eat more meals standing up than sitting down.

...you know the significance of the song "Another one Bites the Dust"

...you become best friends with the male nurse or nurses aid. Not because he's cute, but because he can pick things up that you can't.

And lastly

...you love your job more than anything, even if all you do is complain about it!