The never-ending debate

Ladies, there is something we need to discuss. Sorry gents (if any of you awesome readers are of the male gender) this post isn't for you. As a woman, there are many, many debates among our gender:

 

Pink vs. Red lipstick

(red)

Straight vs. curly hair

(curly/natural)

Wedges vs. pumps

(wedges)

Kotex vs. Playtex

(I don't even care)

But today I'm here to talk about this: sitting vs. squatting.

Yes. I'm gonna get a little personal here and talk about how we do our biz-nass in the bathroom. I'm going to go ahead and get it out of the way and say it, I am a sitter (*gasp*) and here are some of my reasonings:

 

1. 90% of public bathrooms are cleaned daily, if not more. I know for a fact that the bathrooms (for employees) where I work are cleaned twice a day. With strong chemicals (I know, I can smell them pretty much from my office).

2. The skin on the back of your booty and thighs does not carry STIs/infections/or any other kinds of crazy diseases you squatters think you're going to catch.

3. Most people don't pee very neatly from this position... which leads to spray on the seat. Which is the whole dang reason people don't want to sit on it anyway! (Seriously if everyone just sat down we wouldn't have this issue)

4. Trying to pee while squatting/hovering can lead to infection. No I'm not making that up, you can Google it, or you can just trust me since I'm a medical professional and all that. Since you're straining your muscles in your legs/pelvic area, you obviously aren't relaxed down there. Which leads to urine retention (that means some tee tee stays in your bladder). That's where infection can set in (think of a stagnant water puddle) (ew).

5. Its freaking uncomfortable to hover over a toilet for an extended period of time.

 

Now don't get me wrong, there are certain circumstances where my fanny isn't getting anywhere near that toilet seat, like port-a potties or out door gas station bathrooms. Gag me. If that is the case, then I will resort to hovering if I just can't hold it any longer. I have also resorted to squatting outside to avoid those kind of gross bathrooms.

Places where I usually don't squat: a friend's house, at work, at target, my parents' house, a restaurant.

I found these hilarious signs while doing some "research" for this post:

 

So are you a sitter or a squatter?