Women in the kitchen

I don't really have an intro to lead into this topic, however, Samantha tweeted this a few days ago and I thought I'd share my opinions on women in the kitchen.

I just saw this on FB: If a woman was raised correctly, she would know how to cook. Sorry, my parents were more worried about my education.
— Samantha (@MissManthaG) November 15, 2013

I want to begin by saying, if ANYONE is raised correctly, they SHOULD know how to cook. I'm sorry, but I do believe a child should not leave the parent's home without basic knowledge of some kitchen skills. Whether they enjoy or are good at cooking, well that's a whole other story. But I do agree, if you leave home not knowing how to boil water, then you really weren't raised right.

Now, on to the actual topic of the day. Women in the kitchen. Do we really belong there? Is it really a woman's job to cook for her husband?

I was raised in a family where everyone cooked. My mom, my dad, and myself. My dad probably cooked more than my mom. We owned and operated our own restaurant for 6 years. You could say we all like to be in the kitchen. Derek's family is on the opposite end of the spectrum, where the only person who did any cooking was his mom. Neither he nor his dad cooked any family meals, and if his mom was out of town, they either ate out or made sandwiches.

Are either of these lifestyles wrong? No. I think a family should decide how it wants to function by seeing what works best for them, whether it being the wife or husband doing all the cooking, or sharing the responsibility. 

One of the biggest arguments Derek and I have ever gotten into was when he told me it was a woman's job to cook. And he was serious. Because of the way he was raised, he believes that the wife should be responsible for feeding the husband. I don't remember what exactly was said, but it was along the lines of the husband shouldn't have to cook because it was the wife's job to serve him. Cooking wasn't manly.

I argued. How is cooking not manly? I watched my dad prepare over half of my meals growing up and operate a successful restaurant, a restaurant that people loved. A restaurant where a man did the cooking. His thinking upset me. Was he saying he was better than cooking, and therefore better than me?

Since then I've wondered why the argument made me so upset. After all, I've eaten Derek's cooking.. and there isn't much to it, bless his heart. And after all, I love being in the kitchen. One of the best feelings in the world is putting your heart into a meal and serving it to friends and family, watching the enjoyment as they eat. So why did it bother me so much that he wanted me to do what I already loved?

It bothered me because he thought cooking was beneath him. It bothered me because he was telling me I had to do it. It bothered me because he didn't find enjoyment in something I loved so much.

Since that argument, I've presented my feelings to Derek. He's seen my family, and I've seen his family. We both now understand the other's side and feelings. I understand that the whole reason he felt that way is because it is what he was taught. He understands that I was so appalled at his could shoulder to cooking because I was raised in a family that loves it.

So, do women belong in the kitchen? My answer to that is: if that is what works for you. In my opinion, it is the wife's "job" to serve her husband (read your Bible ladies and gents, it's right there) however, I think it is the job of the husband and wife TOGETHER to decide exactly how they will serve one another. Not everyone is gifted with the ability to cook, and if you are the type of person to burn water, then you probably shouldn't be in the kitchen. Do what works for you.

Do you think women "belong" in the kitchen?