Confession: I thought it would be a good idea to interview my boyfriend

Once upon a time I read a few blogs that had some interesting interviews with their boyfriend/husband/significant other and I thought to myself, "That's a really great idea, I'm going to do it!" And this is how that went:

Hey Derek, can I interview you? No. Why not? It will be fun. Listen to this: Woody Harrelson is weird, he has a yoga swing on his bus. What kind of man has a yoga swing?
Do you know the name of my blog? Yes What is it? Geez Louise. You're not interview me are you? I'm not answering anything else.
Describe yourself in five words. I have a big.....
I'm writing that down. For your mom to read? Really? You shouldn't have said it if you didn't want me to write it down.
Describe me in five words. *silence* ........ DESCRIBE ME IN FIVE WORDS! No. No. No. No. Is that five words?
If you could time travel, where would you go? To this he had a very inappropriate answer and I reminded him that this would be going on the internet. So he made me show him what I had typed so far and he actually tried to physically take my computer. I told him I wouldn't share what he said for the sake of both of our dignity.
What is the one thing you can't live without? My jon boat. You. I was kidding about the boat. No, take it off... I was kidding! Please don't put my jon boat.
What do I write about on my blog? Dumb stuff. I don't know... girl stuff. 
If  you have a blog, what would the title of be? "Blogs are stupid.... but if you enjoy them they are okay, I guess" (longest blog name ever?)
And this concludes the first (and probably last) interview with Derek. Cheers!