If we were on our first date

Just like most other humans, I love me some buzzfeed. I don't always agree with or enjoy the articles they post, but I love it nonetheless. I'll never get over taking the "Which ______ Character are You" quizzesa (I am Hermione and Leslie Knope) or "30 GIFS that perfectly describe _____" articles. They make me laugh and laughing makes me happy. Recently Buzzfeed published an article titled 36 Questions You Should Really Be Asking On A First Date, all from the Twitter account @firstdateqs.

Since I'll never again go on a true first date, I I chose 10 of these (ridiculously hilarious) questions to actually answer some so you readers can get to know me a little better.

1. Do you starte eating a muffin BEFORE you unwrap the little muffin sleeve or after you unwrap the little muffin sleeve? 
Well, that honestly depends on how appeasing the muffin looks, if I just can't contain myself and wait to get the wrapper off. But generally, I unwrap the sides and leave the muffin actually sitting on it so I'm not holding the muffin with my bare hands.

2. If aliens are real, how disgusted do you think they are with you?
This reminds me of a Simpsons episode where the Simpsons are abducted by aliens to be eaten, which is complete normal alien behavior - first though, the Simpsons were put on display to show how strange they were. That just goes to show that we can't really say what aliens think - they may be disgusted with the fact that humans drink water or that they eat corn on the cob or flush their poop down the toilet.

3. Do you think lizards can fall in love? 
Yes, absolutely.

4. Do you think Shrek and Fiona should have gotten a divorce? 
Wait... I don't remember the last two (or three? How many movies are there?) Shrek movies. Just the first one when he rescues Fiona, then the second one where there is Puss in Boots. Did Shrek cheat on her with the Dragon? Did Donkey come between them? Wasn't there a gingerbread man somewhere in there?

5. If you had a dragon, who would you have burnt in to an unrecognizable crisp first? 
Oh that's tough. I wish I had longer to think about this question, but for now I'll say whoever is responsible for choosing the price of airline tickets. That ish is wack!

6. How many times a day do you look around you and think "I wish I was butt ass naked right now"?
Too many, yet, not enough.

 7. How quickly into building a piece of IKEA furniture do you throw yourself out the window? 
I've never been to IKEA.

8. How many times have you brought an entire bottle of wine into the shower? 
None, but thankfully, my bathroom counter is easily accessible from the shower and I put drinks on it all the time to consume while showering. Do you know how refreshing a cold beer or bloody mary is while in a hot shower? Do you?!

9. Do you put the toilet paper roll on the right way or the murderer way? 
The right way of course.

10. Do you think cats like guacamole? 
If they don't then I've got two cats for sale.

What are some of the strangest questions you've encountered on  a first date?