To whom it may concern

So I'm sitting here, in my bed, at 9:47 on a Friday morning. I feel like ish ran over. I don't have anything to say except I want to go back to sleep. I can't even really be that excited about it being Friday, because I have to work the next three days, holla! Don't get me wrong, I love being a nurse, but sometimes I wish I had a M-F job. Such is life. Since I'm being lazy and don't feel like using my noodle, I'm going to write some letters.

Dear Head, you have been hurting me all week. First a migraine that sent me home from work, and now just dull throbbing. Please stop. I don't even remember the last time I had an alcoholic beverage (okay it was last weekend) but really, I haven't over done it so I don't know why you're punishing me.

Dear Craisins, I don't know why you have to be so addicting, but you are. I seriously cannot go one day without stuffing hundreds of tiny dried cranberries into my mouth. (At least you're better than the reeses eggs that have made their way into my belly)

Dear Laundry, you have been washed, dried, carried up the stairs, and folded. Can't you just put yourself away? Why do I have to do everything for you?

Dear Phone, I'm sorry I forgot to charge you last night. Thanks for not dying at the gym, I really needed Pandora today.

Dear Derek, you know I love you so much. But no, I will not tell you what I want for my Birthday. Especially not after that water bottle incident yesterday. But really, thanks for loving me back always even when I'm a crazy person. That's why you da best.

Love, Kalyn

In honor of my birthday being two weeks away:

(Sorry Mom, you're probably not going to appreciate this one) 

When I die, bury me inside the booty club.