Love Language

Saying "I love you" is easily the most uncomplicated and simple way to tell someone you love them. But, there are so many other ways of showing and receiving love, and you and your partner/family members may have different ways of communicating love to one another. I have seen the idea of finding out your love language floating around the blogosphere the past couple of months and I decided that I would find mine out. I remember doing a similar exercise with my youth group in church, but I have no idea what my result was. Great memory, I know.

There is an online quiz you can take at this website. The "Five Love Languages" is a concept that Dr. Gary Chapman wrote about in his book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. I took the 30-question quiz and my love language was Words of Affirmation:

"Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. You thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build you up."

Tied for second place were Acts of Service and Quality Time, and they were only two points behind my first love language.

I even convinced Derek to take the quiz. Well, I may have tricked him into it. It went something like this:

Me: Hey, will you answer some questions for me?

Him: Sure whatever.

Me: Do you prefer option A or option B?

.......several questions later:

Him: What is this about? This is dumb. Is this for your blog?

Me: .......noooo.......

Him: Just give me the computer.

And he finished the quiz on his own. I'm so proud of him. We found out his love language is Quality Time, which won by a long shot. I don't really remember what his second place language was.

"In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Whether itʼs spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time."

After both of us taking the quiz, we talked more about our respective love languages and what it meant for our relationship. It gave a little insight as to why he's always annoyed when I'm on the computer before bed .Or why it really ticks me off when he says something like "maybe you should be doing X different" after I complain about something, instead of encouraging me to keep trying or something along those lines.

Knowing each others love language is a key aspect of your relationship, whether it is a romantic one or not. It will help you communicate and grow closer together, by building off of each others language. You will begin to have a new appreciation for doing little things for your partner if their language is acts of service, or maybe you'll find yourself giving more hugs or holding hands if their language is physical touch.

So, is it sweet gifts or bear hugs that make your heart go pitter patter? I'd love to hear what "language" you speak!